Monday, December 27, 2010
Its getting better man! 11:33 PM

Holidays
Apparently, these few days have been pretty wonderful and magnificent. On Sunday, I went shooting with Ernest. We did time lapse and we did it from 6 to 7.30pm at MBS. But overall, I think we did a good time lapse, I think we are one of the youngest people that have ever done. Since, I talk to most of my friends and almost all don’t know how a time lapse is like. Well, its good to surprise them when the movie is released. To me, maybe its one of the first and most hardworking short films I have ever done in my Life.

We took quite a lot of people shots and like Ernest, we go for the girls first…if you know what I mean. Haha. But some girls have a seriously nice smile. Too good until we stare at it for long times. Well, that’s just us. I must admit, somehow my photography skills improved ever since I got a new Cam, 550D Canon. I don’t know, maybe the clear and good quality of the Cam shows it looks nice. But that’s what I think.

On Tue, I got an unexpected invitation from Hao Jun, apparently, he got the tickets for the screening of The Ghosts must be Crazy. Heard about it? Well, if you have, we have alr watched it. I don’t know why no one wants to seize this opportunity to watch it. We even met with Jack Neo, Mark Lee and Henry Thia face to face, but of course I didn’t talk to them, just saw them only. But it was a very good experience. I should have brought my Canon cam but dam! So I use my phone instead, here! I got the pic.

I will comment on the movie after its released. Anyway, I was just very thankful for the outing, normally I just like to go out instead of staying at home but really, many things happened, I thought I crewed up badly but overall, I was indeed very thankful for that day. No other words are able to express it. I surprised I managed to talk to Hao Jun until the end. Cos sometimes, I’ll feel very tired and just don’t feel like talking but it just hits me that we can actually talk this long. Hopefully, we can meet again :)



a lot of ppl!




Finally i saw Jack Neo




shoot! so blur!




so many posters!




The other actors


Now, im doing a short film with Ernest Tan and I think it our first short film is dam hard alr. I mean for our first submission, we have alr put more effort than our sch projects work, and its only 4 min long. Its totally nuts! But yeah, sometimes I ask myself if God ever allowed me to do this, if he doesn’t approve of it, I think He’s gonna kill it quite badly as how He nearly kill my dad in his business. But have mercy, I don’t wish to suffer like that. Then again, it depends how stubborn I choose to be.

But I hate it when my pessimistic side keeps taking over. It makes me feel lousy everytime. But yeah, for this one, friends play a very very important part in this. As you know it, like a human being, we all like friends and like to be with friends, don’t you agree? Who in the world don’t want friends huh? So yeah, but through God, I must overcome my pessimistic side.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Rant 11:35 AM

Rant & rant! (Last Friday)
Please, I really don’t care if youre gonna shoot me for it but I don’t care much too. Today, I have my director’s role and written test, yesterday was practical test. I am sooo totally not very calm. Im prepared but part of me still anxious, which one of you wont feel like that. So I took my practical test, quite happy with it but I didn’t get full marks. Then today, my director’s role. We got 3 hours and 4 of us, including me have to direct finish our roles. Normally, its quite impossible cos on average, 3 ppl take up to 4 hours while in THIS 3 hours, we have to do 4 ppl. So I keep telling myself, I gotta prepare, I gotta prepare. Prepare for the worst, prepare when all else fails. The first 2 directors, I wont stress much took 2 hours!!!! WTF! So I told myself, so me and another girl have to do our roles in 30 min la!! Heck you man! As the last director, it sounds impossible. So obviously, I will panicked. I mean freak, you wont?? And its graded, to make things worse. And so I started to make sure that if my next friend take a long time to direct, I must be ready. So I anxiously rush to get everything sorted out. And freak! I extremely dislike these kind of ppl. When im doing these things, they tell me to relax… ohhhhhh, I will sooo heck you. Everyone got about 1 hour to do their planning and stuff and director until very good. But in the end, most cannot do it. And they expect me to do even better than them in only 20min??? those words my other friends said really piss me off.

They really think I will relax? Then most will say, ‘but worrying so much still for nothing’. Of course I know that!!! That’s why im gonna prepare and plan my thing, then why the HECK did you tell me to relax? So indeed, I really did my best, I gave y most simple explanations and stuff my friends need to do. The only thing was my host was too fast and my teacher wont give my any more freaking time. So I cant decide on the spot to do a excellent work. I did my best! That’s all.

Today
I cant believe im actually typing this in the middle of class. I cant my mind just cant keep quiet. Ok, some the days go by and im like a few more days before the holidays start. A lot of things are happening. Firstly, im trying to get B tan closer to God, maybe it was a calling, well, im not sure. I just want her to still be connected to God, hopefully.

And just now, my friend ask me to help him while, I got to buy camera with my parents and cut hair with Ernest. Dam it! Yes or no?? I cant freaking think! Why is there this part of me that always wish I can help others and another part of me getting priorities straight. I think I face the same struggles and mum, I just cant say no! Ernest and my dad are gonna discuss on what camera I should buy and both also have their own views, both also don’t want to lose. What the heck am I gonna do?!?! God, im dam frustrated cos I have better things to worry about. I got storyboard, I got IS project. Its becos of freaking short of time and made me this way. God, I no longer even know what to say or do.

Sometimes I wish I can just go my way and let me fall and waste some cash and ditch some ppl but I don’t want to!! I don’t think I have the strength and get up, don’t have the money and climb and start anew, don’t have the heart to ditch ppl. Its just me!! God I guess I have to change but change into what?! I don’t even know whether you are saying a go-go or no-no. in any way that I think i’ll buy a camera for, it seems like im always wasting money. Well, I can follow Ernest to spend loads on camera stuff but I don’t want to waste. How do you know whether you are wasting or just investing? Someone say waste, other say invest. I know ppl have their own views but im just confused over this stuff.

Im pretty glad no one or extremely little ppl my blog, cos it becoming a rant blog… which I think I like. God, did you know how many times I feel like ditching everything I have and follow you? But it wont work, I still need money, still need friends, still need love and care, still need a home and so on. If you ever call me to follow You and forget everything, I can do that. But you didn’t call me to do that. You called me to follow you spiritually, not physically. If not, I’ll just become another Judas.

God, do you dislike me when I complain and rant too much? I mean what kind of disciple am I? im not even worthy of even being with you. Anyway, lesson is gonna end soon and im gonna face everything in time. I need you to lead me and guide me. I just wish I can sleep on it but cant, cos I will have to face them. please help me make a wise decision, it maybe not be totally right, but I want a wise decision. I have to do 4 projects, do a short film with Ernest, create Christmas tribute, have time for best friend, remember irregulars in cell and hopefully talking to them, bond with XP… many things to do. I gtg now.


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Name: Samuel lee
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