*~ Never Give Up ~*

Thank you, Donovan and James (for helping me with this blog)
Jess, my sister (for beta-reading)
Thanks Donovan for showing me how to upload pictures
Thanks James for asking from a friend how to upload videos

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Rant 11:35 AM

Rant & rant! (Last Friday)
Please, I really don’t care if youre gonna shoot me for it but I don’t care much too. Today, I have my director’s role and written test, yesterday was practical test. I am sooo totally not very calm. Im prepared but part of me still anxious, which one of you wont feel like that. So I took my practical test, quite happy with it but I didn’t get full marks. Then today, my director’s role. We got 3 hours and 4 of us, including me have to direct finish our roles. Normally, its quite impossible cos on average, 3 ppl take up to 4 hours while in THIS 3 hours, we have to do 4 ppl. So I keep telling myself, I gotta prepare, I gotta prepare. Prepare for the worst, prepare when all else fails. The first 2 directors, I wont stress much took 2 hours!!!! WTF! So I told myself, so me and another girl have to do our roles in 30 min la!! Heck you man! As the last director, it sounds impossible. So obviously, I will panicked. I mean freak, you wont?? And its graded, to make things worse. And so I started to make sure that if my next friend take a long time to direct, I must be ready. So I anxiously rush to get everything sorted out. And freak! I extremely dislike these kind of ppl. When im doing these things, they tell me to relax… ohhhhhh, I will sooo heck you. Everyone got about 1 hour to do their planning and stuff and director until very good. But in the end, most cannot do it. And they expect me to do even better than them in only 20min??? those words my other friends said really piss me off.

They really think I will relax? Then most will say, ‘but worrying so much still for nothing’. Of course I know that!!! That’s why im gonna prepare and plan my thing, then why the HECK did you tell me to relax? So indeed, I really did my best, I gave y most simple explanations and stuff my friends need to do. The only thing was my host was too fast and my teacher wont give my any more freaking time. So I cant decide on the spot to do a excellent work. I did my best! That’s all.

Today
I cant believe im actually typing this in the middle of class. I cant my mind just cant keep quiet. Ok, some the days go by and im like a few more days before the holidays start. A lot of things are happening. Firstly, im trying to get B tan closer to God, maybe it was a calling, well, im not sure. I just want her to still be connected to God, hopefully.

And just now, my friend ask me to help him while, I got to buy camera with my parents and cut hair with Ernest. Dam it! Yes or no?? I cant freaking think! Why is there this part of me that always wish I can help others and another part of me getting priorities straight. I think I face the same struggles and mum, I just cant say no! Ernest and my dad are gonna discuss on what camera I should buy and both also have their own views, both also don’t want to lose. What the heck am I gonna do?!?! God, im dam frustrated cos I have better things to worry about. I got storyboard, I got IS project. Its becos of freaking short of time and made me this way. God, I no longer even know what to say or do.

Sometimes I wish I can just go my way and let me fall and waste some cash and ditch some ppl but I don’t want to!! I don’t think I have the strength and get up, don’t have the money and climb and start anew, don’t have the heart to ditch ppl. Its just me!! God I guess I have to change but change into what?! I don’t even know whether you are saying a go-go or no-no. in any way that I think i’ll buy a camera for, it seems like im always wasting money. Well, I can follow Ernest to spend loads on camera stuff but I don’t want to waste. How do you know whether you are wasting or just investing? Someone say waste, other say invest. I know ppl have their own views but im just confused over this stuff.

Im pretty glad no one or extremely little ppl my blog, cos it becoming a rant blog… which I think I like. God, did you know how many times I feel like ditching everything I have and follow you? But it wont work, I still need money, still need friends, still need love and care, still need a home and so on. If you ever call me to follow You and forget everything, I can do that. But you didn’t call me to do that. You called me to follow you spiritually, not physically. If not, I’ll just become another Judas.

God, do you dislike me when I complain and rant too much? I mean what kind of disciple am I? im not even worthy of even being with you. Anyway, lesson is gonna end soon and im gonna face everything in time. I need you to lead me and guide me. I just wish I can sleep on it but cant, cos I will have to face them. please help me make a wise decision, it maybe not be totally right, but I want a wise decision. I have to do 4 projects, do a short film with Ernest, create Christmas tribute, have time for best friend, remember irregulars in cell and hopefully talking to them, bond with XP… many things to do. I gtg now.

Welcome!

This is my blog, enjoy your stay. Just don't flood the tagboard

Don't look down on yourself

You are worth much more

Wishes ♥

God alone :D
More time :)
Helping others
Movies o.O

Likings ♥

Bubble tea
Stunts o.O
Making movies
Animating

Profile

Name: Samuel lee
Age: 16+
Country: Singapore
After everyone leaves, i will be the one there waiting for you.
I'm will love everyone and anyone, no matter how bad you are.

What am I
I can choose to be anyone, a millionaire, a bankrupt, a rich man, a poor person, anyone. i can be your best friend and your worst enemy. i can be a miracle and i can be a nightmare. i can be a helper and i can be a destroyer. but its not up to fate, it is a choice we must make. i can reach my dream goal, but none of them matters. most importantly, i just want to be a child of God.

Tagboard

Links

Jess♥
Trish(cousin)
James!
De Yuan,dy
Hao Jun, yo!
Chia (wei ling)
Shelby :)
Zhi Jun(Junster)
Tricia :)(friend)
Jordan
Donovan(Do no van)lol
Grace
DNP!
Ivan
Kristy
Fadzilah
Cai Bao
Shindy
Jess C
Ka Yan
Mei Foong (MF)
Sing Ru (SR guy)
Christie
Ben (Benjamin L)

Heartfelt Song ♥ (must Hear!) click play

where the love lasts forever :)