Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I tell you the truth 9:39 PM

On a true event (not based, not inspired)

When I tell people ‘‘look on the bright side of everything’’, they would say ‘‘not easy, you do it first, set a good example’’. And today, I have actually done it. Its true, it wasn’t easy, it was never easy. ‘‘In everything, give thanks’’ quoted from my bro. I never really knew it was one of the hardest things to do. But today… I finally understand the full thing.
Today, we were going to get our Chinese O level results. I had mixed feelings, part of me knew the results, part of me was not so sure. And the first lesson was Chinese, my friends were begging the teacher for the results but the teacher made a promise not to say it out. Many teachers commented, it was a disappointment. Means to say, we had done worse than last year. Then I saw, all of the 5 N pass the paper. I was happy and sad at the same time. Happy becos I passed but sad, as I don’t just want to pass, I want to pass good. Then we went to class to hear our results. The suspense was just killing me. I told myself, if I get a 6, I want to re-take. But inside of me wanted a B4, I just wanted it sooo badly. The teacher called my name. I got a 6. I tell u, I was so disappointed in myself, I wanted to say ‘F’ and slam my head on the table until it bleeds. It was nothing I expected. Not even a 5. Then all of the sudden, Robert and Lester started jumping and cheering. I stared at them, blankly. Then I just smile and laugh softly. I just laugh… no one could tell how I felt. I never knew 2 people who were laughing at me actually saved me. They actually prevented me from hating myself and cursing vulgarities. I felt so sad but I just laugh, I have no reason why. I wish to thank them… but who will believe me? I bet both of them do not even know it.

During Eng, Winston asked me if I got 8 dollars. I was stunned at the Qn. I told to Don that I forgotten to bring my money to sch. So I gotta use my savings. Once my savings run out, I cant spent anymore even though I still have money with me buy I agreed not to spend the other money. They were paper dollars notes and to me, I wanna keep them. I had old coins too, 1988 to be exact. It’s a old coin and I love keeping old coins. My friends would have known me. Then I just said ‘yes’ to Winston. The Qn is… why? I told myself, I don’t want to spend the money and I end up giving them to Winston, who is going to spent it for a haircut. Its super not worth it. but why do I give him? I had an inner battle in me. Then it came to me, what are the money to me? They are just old money, earthly things. If I don’t give them up, I’ll be too obsessed into not spending them, and I knew that myself. I just look at the sky… and said, ‘‘Lord, I can let them go. They are just temporary to me. Nothing much. There is more than this. I know u will give them to me. U gave me miracles, and I cannot buy miracles…’’ I was reluctant to give but in the end, I did. But as I said, Winston don’t need to know about it.

I walked with boon home. I was thinking, after walking with him, I wanna go back sch. Then boon was walking further away. I want to bring him to the bus stop but he went beyond that. So I walked with him until another bus stop which is very far away. Then boon told me he wanted to go on. So we walked to a traffic light. After that, we walked until the old Ping Yi sch or what used to be Ping Yi once. Then boon said he wanted to go bedok interchange. Then we across to bedok inter. My legs were dying. Then boon told me the walk was very short. I stared at him, What the heck. We have been walking for 30 min. then he told me it felt like only 5min. I was like, WTC. Then I was about to tell him, I wanna go back sch but I look around me. Ai ya, just accompany him to his home! I wanted to go back cos I wanna buy bubble tea but I end up buying it at bedok inter, which taste soooo not good. Too sweet and so much ice. My legs were killing me now. I only accompanied boon until the other side of the road then I was too tired so agreed to meet him afterwards. I could have said no, but why do I go the extra mile for? Look on the bright side, I learnt one thing. During a major exam, its not about what grade u get, its about how well u have done. Mr Chui told us too, u may get 75/100, that’s an A. but if everyone gets that, the 85 mark range will be an A and 75 mark would be a B3 or so. Marks doesn’t matter anymore, its how many people u can win. It struck me. Despite the long talk and straining of my legs, at least I understand one thing.

So I tell u the truth. Setting a good example was never easy. Meaning what u say was never easy. When people managed to do it, they say ‘now you try la!’ but I say to them, ‘its not impossible’.

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