Friday, October 23, 2009
What more can i do? 6:39 PM

Tuesday
Yesterday, a lot of things happened. When I came to sch, alr 3 people greeted me. 3 strangers, I
should say. I have never seen them before. One of them, came… smile and said, ‘sup’. I don’t know what to say so I just laugh at I walked by. I was studying SS again becos I got a SEQ test on that day. Things is normal… just as chaos and funny like old times. Every time, after studying for another 1.5 hrs, dam… I cant study anymore. So, I tried to concentrate harder and maybe kill some time. U know one thing that annoys me… its not like anyone bullying me or jerks teasing me. Its something else. I hate being love struck. The timing is so inappropriate. Its like one moment, you’re normal. And the next, u have a sudden feeling for someone. It sicks man… so I have probs concentrating. Omg. Every time I see her, I cant do my work. Im not gonna tell anyone the name. Only 2 people know it. One buddy and one best friend. So my buddy tried to distract my mind from thinking about her. Being love struck is very irritating, cos the one moment u stared at the girl, u cant seem to look away. Sure I know she’s good-looking but that’s not the point. I should be doing POA and SS study. I just hate it when my emotions take over. This is still something I have to overcome.

In SS, I studied… wrong!! I was studying Bonding SG. But the Qn came out, Managing Transnational Terrorism. Crap man. The teacher was tired that day so we went off. She’s gonna give us a random paper and test us on the next lesson. Omg, im ready man. Haha.


Wednesday

Nothing much happened today. Went for tuition in the evening and we did compo. Man, I hope I can do well again :)

However, around midnight, I found out… J came on Msn. It’s a she, I wont say her name but I used to like her a couple of years ago. I just call her J. I haven’t seen her online about… months. So I chatted with her and… she told me that she broke up with her bf. I don’t understand at first. I thought they 2 were perfect… they were going so well, and one day, it just ended. I was utterly sad. I mean I dont get it. The girls that I used to like… have their stead, and have lose them. I can only dream that I could be their bf, only. I have seen them… suffering in sadness and depression. And I cant do anything and ease their sorrow. Sometimes, I really feel so helply. I used to like them and still have a heart for them. But I guess they wouldn’t know. So J was cursing Life, cursing guys and hurling vulgarities. She told me that whatever that she lived for, was gone. She dated the nicest kindest best friend she ever knew. And that person left her. How would she feel? Sad, of course. She tried to kill herself. Thought Life was meaningless. Starting to lose God. And… I don’t know what to say. What more can I say? She was brought to a point where she is way down and have lost hope. Encouraging her just made it worse. In my mind, I really pitied her and wanted her to know that Life still continues and she has to move on. I wanted her to know that there are still things… things out there, good things still waiting for her. I didn’t want her to kill herself. Sometimes, I figured, I am still a human being. An imperfect yet so perfect human being. And when she explains, I can feel her. That sorrowful feeling of how girls would feel when their bf breaks up with them. I questioned myself. Why does people around me feel so down and didn’t wanna go on living? Why them? Why not me?! I haven’t witness it before but why do I have this feeling that… I do understand their situation. I cannot change one’s mindset if one do not want to change. But I can listen and still talk to them about their problems. I may not change them, but I can still help them. I decided to pray for her just before I go. At least she was happy to hear it.

So I sat outside and stared at the sky. I pray that I want to help people and God gave me the opportunity. But I just aint prepared for it. I am still a human being. What more can I do? Just pray and hope things will turn better the next day? Lord there must be more than this. There must be more. I spent a long time, voicing my opinions. And this time, there was no answer. I closed my eyes and sang a song to him. After that, I just walked back to my room and slept. Lord… I do believe you can make all things new. You can do anything.

Taken... on Wed





the best close-up on my bunny ever!


Thursday

Woke up and went to sch. Boon and I were preparing for SS. And it was also Sci Practical. We went to find for some teachers like Mr Chui and Miss Wong. It seems like I need to brush up more on Food. I think I know how Miss Wong got the Most Caring Teacher Award. When we went to canteen, she bought us a drink, no Qns ask. How nice of her :)

When she left, I was talking to boon. And… he also have probs too. Well, family issues… I shall not mention anything. He also felt Life quite meaningless. I bet if he told me anymore, im gonna move into action. Cos I just cant stand people suffering in front of me and I cant do a dam thing. I told him if I can solve his prob, will it help? True enough, he said, Don’t Know. Cos I bet he’s thinking there is nothing that can be done. What more can I do to change one’s mindset about things? I cant do much. In fact, I cant anything at all. I got so sick and tired. I went to the 5th floor of sch and prayed. I don’t normally pray in sch but I think I need to build my Faith in God. I stayed there for… I lost count. I closed my eyes, hoping that my heart could just be quiet… quiet enough to hear from God. Then a phrase came to me, ‘‘Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding’’. Then a another phrase came, ‘‘ does boon love his own mother?’’. Surprised at the response, I quickly ran down and found boon. I asked him the Qn and his ans was as always, ‘I don’t know’. Then I knew, things could not go better unless boon still loves his mum. Love can do wonders and sometimes, Love changes everything. Boon must first forgive his mum and love her, in order for his life to change. Other than that, I have no say. Thank you God… once again. You are good.


Movie Review- The Hills have Eyes Rating- 8.6__4 stars

I remembered watching Hill have Eyes 2 first. It indeed sucks. So I decided to watch the Original. Very few actors as usual. I thought it will be a slasher movie like most movies and indeed it was. I thought it will be cliché and indeed it WASN’T. that’s cool. It talks about a family on a trip and as u know it. The trip turns out bloody. Mutants came and killed most. It’s a family of about… 6 and 3 alr died in one night. I thought ‘ man, that’s crazy. Only 3 people left to kill a group of super, deformed humans’. But no…. only 1 went solo and face them. Wow. He’s a dead man but nooo also. He POW and owns them. True enough, it’s a M18 due to violence. No sexual scenes or nudity. Its one heck of a bloody movie, especially with little guns involved. No cops, no high tech weapons. Just a bunch of axes, knife and… a Flag. Not recommended by the light-hearted again. Don’t watch with a full stomach also. I watched the Making of the movie and indeed, it proves to be a successful show and effort for the people. They did a lot of research on mutants and where they are gonna film it. A lot of effort put in and we also watched how they did computer effects and combine them with the movie. Quite awesome. A lot of blood used too. The movie proves to stand out from most slasher movie, becos its not just run-and-kill type of show. Ending is pretty good too, and unexpected. Overall, I don’t mind watching it again.


Note: the sudden change of font is becos, my whole comp changed again. yeah, so i gotta start all over. hope u can still see the words.

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